Today I am asking for help, my daughter has been missing for 4 years, I need help raising money to have several graves exhumed. There is a possibility that Becky may have been buried either in one of  the coffins or under the vault of a grave. I have already spent thousands of dollars exhuming other graves and I am running out of financial resources. I need more then life itself to find her. Becky deserves to be brought home. The police have done the paperwork for exhuming the graves but because Becky’s disappearance was not in their budget, I have to pay for it. I need help. I need Donations to get these graves exhumed. I don’t know where else to go.

I have started a Non-Profit Organization called Broken Wings Network. This will be a resource and a source of support for other families of missing adults and battered women. I am only one voice but I pray that someone will hear it and help me.

How did this happen? One day I wake up and my daughter was gone!!!!

I saw my daughter Becky going down a road that I knew could eventually kill her if she didn’t get out. I kept begging her to leave her boyfriend. I couldn’t understand the pain she let him inflict on her. She was so smart and beautiful. She could have had anyone she wanted. Why did she stay with him? Why didn’t she listen to us? Why did she distance herself from the people who really loved her? I was so very angry at her for her continued devotion to Carl, the man that would eventually kill her and get rid of her remains.

After realizing that my Becky went missing:

I realized the first 22 years of her life were going to be the only memories that I would ever have of her.  I lost Becky. My Becky. God I loved her so much. I will never be able to tell you how much I miss her. I hope no-one will ever have to walk in my shoes. For those of you, my Sisters and brothers in search, you understand so well my pain. We share it and understand each other like no one else could ever understand us. When we have our breakdowns and periods of crying, you understand, and wait for the moment to pass.

I have had my share of sad days and nights. You know when you get up in the morning and you see something that reminds you of that very special person that you’ve lost. It could be a commercial, a picture, or a song. Reminders are there all the time. Sometimes they are more prevalent than other times. I think to myself, how will Life ever be normal again? Then, I realize this is my life, and it has been changed forever.

 I have spent three and a half years in pain and helplessness because of my loss. I have been forced to ask myself questions like: Where is my daughter? Is she dead or alive? If she is indeed dead, why was she murdered? Did she suffer or did God help her go quickly? What were her last thoughts? Did she beg for mercy? What gave him the right to take her life? These are the moments of wonderment I now have. How could this happen to my Becky? How could the police treat this as just another ordinary crime? How can I overcome this with some dignity intact? What can I do to make a difference?

I feel that what I can do to make a difference is to save another family’s daughter. To help the men who abuse to understand that not only do they hurt or kill the very person they loved but they also took a mother, sister, friend, and a precious life that they did not have any right to take.

I realize if I roll over and do nothing I will never find my daughter’s remains. I will never truly get to say good-by and I love you. I try to believe in God and I think maybe everything does happen for a reason; maybe God’s plan is greater then mine. I don’t know, but I do know that I can’t let Becky’s life be for naught. I can’t leave her remains out there in the cold, loveless spot he dumped her in. It is up to me as her mother to make the difference, and find her. I have to get the strength and courage to go full circle with this.

My goal is to make people hear my story, and the stories of all the women and men who have gone missing. This is a very hard road to cross, as most government officials don’t want to get involved. Most politicians want to talk about “pretty” topics during election year. Domestic Violence, Murder, and our missing children, seem to be way too messy for them. I can tell you all that I am going to stay committed to getting this Broken Wing’s Network going and it needs to be done with urgency. Everyday another woman is battered by her spouse or boyfriend. If she’s lucky she will get away, if not she will end up like our daughter, murdered and dumped somewhere. These beautiful souls are lost forever, and it’s heartbreaking. It is up to us: the parents, the brothers and sisters, the family and friends, and the public to help put an end to this type of violence. I have to fight this battle because I need and deserve closure.

My life has changed. I know that there has to be something I can do to make a difference.  I have a mission to help bring justice to all the families that have suffered through the same pain that I have. I look at all my Sisters in Search and I think there are no boundaries here. This is not a crime for a special group of people. This is a crime that crosses every boundary line: race, religion, and economic class do not protect you from being a victim of violence.  I need to find the people who will listen and I need to make them hear the voices of our lost ones. I need to find the answers and start educating our children, daughters and sons alike, about our legal system. I need to stay focused on what my objectives are. I want to put an end to the terrible losses that will most certainly affect another innocent family today, tomorrow and in the future.

As a parent I feel so much pain on a daily basis. I’ve had cops say, “You need to talk to someone”, I’ve had cops say, “Don’t talk to anyone, you might foil the case”. As a parent what do I do? Do I call the Crisis Intervention at the DA’s office and talk about my pain? Will he use my pain to work against me later on?  Do I seek help out of the jurisdiction of the DA and Police? Will that help? Do I find a support group where I can talk openly and honestly? Who can I trust?  Is it wrong to want to blame the cops for my fear of screwing up the case so I go nowhere with my pain except the occasional frustrated call to the cop in charge of Becky’s case? She must think I’m a total emotional wreck. Then I remember I am the victim, or am I? Do I feel like I’m a victim but really, I’m not?  Who is the victim here? Is Becky the victim? Does her pain and death institute the type of justice I’m seeking? Do I, as the parent of an adult victim, have any real rights? What is the answer?  Do any of us really know? I ask these questions daily of myself. I’m only one person, yet I feel that I must do something.  I need to make a difference for Becky and for all of our missing children.

I need to make things right. I need to make all the men that have hurt our daughters, mothers, and sisters think twice before they do it again. I need every voice possible to help me make this happen. It is only a question? Is it the right question? I don’t know any more. All I know is that my Becky is gone! Deb Culberson’s daughter Carrie is gone, Patti and Ed Bishop’s daughter Karen Jo is gone, Margie Mortior’s, son Amos is missing, Dawn and Tom Vowell’s mother Sandra Kay Travis is missing, All these families wonder daily where are their loved ones’ bodies. Are they in a cold shallow grave, or are they dumped in a dumpster and taken to a landfill to be dumped with the trash that will be buried?  This is such a small list and yet it grows daily. These are the families that need to know the truth, these are the people who wake up every day thinking, “How has my life changed?” 

Our lives will never be the same. The pain will never go away.

Today, my life has a mission. Four years ago I had could sleep at night. Four years ago I had a great job. Four years ago I was the mother of five beautiful people. Four years ago my life was normal.

Today I look at every ditch and railroad track as a possible place to hide my daughter’s remains. Today when I hear a news story about an unidentified female body discovered somewhere, I call the local Medical Examiner to see if they know who it is, and should I send Becky’s DNA or Dental Records? Today I drive into the darkest streets in Milwaukee to hang Posters on telephone poles. I knock on doors and ask strangers if they knew my daughter. Today I go to my computer and start the search all over. Today, I cry.

Yes, my life has changed forever as I continue to search for my daughter. I need answers to my questions. I need to know what happened to her. I need to know that the person responsible for her disappearance and murder is held accountable. I need to have a good night sleep. I need your prayers. I need your support.

The man that murdered my daughter and hid her remains committed suicide on October 5^th,2007. When he killed himself he took his secrets with him to the grave. Now it is twice as hard to find the answers. Even offering money and amnesty to his friends and family members, they still refuse to tell me her location.

There is no greater loss then the loss of a child. I felt sorrow and empathy for the Rodgers family and for Anita and Tim Stemper. Yet, I live with the fact that they got to bury their son. They got to say goodbye, they got the answers they needed and laid him to rest. I still wait for all of that. They have no empathy for me, or my family. They only have blame. They blame me for his death, how very sad. Carl took his own life so he could still have control over Becky; he knew he was on his way to prison. He knew that the gun charge would seal his fate.  He knew that during the upcoming trial for the rape and beating of his girlfriend, he would be forced to deal with the issue of Becky.

According to his girlfriend (the victim) every time I hung the flyers he would beat her because she would refuse to go out and take them down. With his suicide he told the world that yes, indeed he was still in control. He said in an audio recording made by him before his death that he never hit a woman, that he never beat or raped his former girlfriend, and that he did not kill anyone. 

Carl left behind two children a young boy Carl III who is 10 years old and a daughter Angel who is now 18 years old. These poor children are also his victims. They have had to live with questions that they never got answers too. Did their father kill Becky? Did their father rape and beat his girlfriend? These children have seen his violence and I pray that they have an opportunity to stop the cycle of abuse in their families. These children will never know the truth.

This is how a mother feels when her life changes forever!

This letter represents the thoughts and pain of Karren Kraemer. This is only one story. I could tell you of my friend, Lorraine Lucas, mother of Brian Lucas, who was shot dead in a Motorsport Store. His life was taken execution style along with 3 other co-workers. This crime happened 4 years ago in the early afternoon and yet it has not been solved. The one thing we know is that robbery was not a motive.

I could tell you of Deb Culberson.  Deb had a beautiful daughter, Carrie Culberson, who disappeared 10 years ago. Deb was able to get a conviction for 95 years without the possibility of parole. The man who murdered her daughter, Vince Dorn, is in prison and refuses to tell anyone where her remains are. This is such an awful situation for Deb.

In my case, Carl Rodgers, the man I believe killed my Becky, committed suicide. He took the secret of what happened to Becky to the grave with him. This is just another form of control.

We are the Mothers in pain, and sadly, we are far from alone.

Today, I visit local men and women’s prisons and women’s groups, telling Becky’s story. It is so very important that someone takes the time to go out in public and make a difference. If I save even one person from suffering the way my Becky did, then all my efforts have paid off. Today I start my new Broken Wings Network with these other families of the missing and today, I ask for help to get us started.

My Becky is gone, but she has never for one single moment been forgotten.

God Bless, and thanks for taking the time to read this. 

Karren Kraemer
www.FindBeckyKraemer.com